Open Post: Hosted By The Emotional Support Plush Man Bear
Move over, Chia Pet! Get outta here, Snuggie! This year’s novelty Christmas gift is here! Are you a teddy bear fan but wished upon a star that they were more human-like? Your dream has come alive in the form of Loving Bear Puffy. Yes, this 5’7” bear with the body of a burly man and an ass that won’t quit is available for snuggles and terrifying anyone who visits your apartment!
Loving Bear Puffy is no ordinary bear (clearly). He’s been specifically designed for hugs and bringing you the emotional support that your loveless parents never gave you. Not only is he great for cuddles but, for singles, he can take the place of your boyfriend at Thanksgiving, staving off questions from your nosy aunt! via BoingBoing:
This somewhat creepy man-bear measures 5’7″ and is said to replace “the need for physical presence.” Also:
“He becomes part of the family and is always at home waiting for you. He doesn’t snore, he doesn’t sweat, and… 🙂 he doesn’t complain.”
Furthermore, he arrives naked, he IS a bear after all. But don’t let that deter you from dressing him up for some holiday-time hugging.
Perusing the site is an exercise in madness. The creators grabbed this plushie Real Doll, took a quick trip to Sears to buy a multipack of polo shirts and Dockers pants, and staged an unsettling photoshoot with multiple women.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CkqSVm7oE_o/
To be fair, he does look easy to cuddle. Now since he comes naked, you have to dress him up in L-XL clothing. I’m personally worried for the individual who lives alone that has to explain to their friends why there’s a section in their closet with extra large outfits in it. “Oh, I’m not dating. I just have a giant creepy bearman stored in the corner of my bedroom that I dress up and sleep with each day.” For those of you who are tempted, the bearman goes for just $160, and that’s a small price to pay for your sanity and for a way to trick the carpool lane. “Oh, that’s just Goldilocks and her new man on a romantic drive,” is what the cops will say.
Pic: Loving Puffy Bear