James Corden Pissed Off Balthazar’s Owner Again and Ricky Gervais Called Out Him Out For Stealing A Joke
If you’re wondering if it’s safe to eat at Balthazar in New York City if you have an asshole allergy, I’d advise you to play it safe and avoid it until such time as owner Keith McNalley can clarify whether or not James Corden is banned from dining there. Keith has posted about James once again, calling his Late Late Show apology “contrived and phony” following yet another newspaper interview proclaiming he had done nothing wrong. You see, asshole allergies, in my experience, are like peanut allergies, which means that even if James isn’t eating at Balthazar at the time of your visit, even the smallest particle of his noxious presence can cause an extreme reaction. In fact, James is such an irritant that other assholes can barely tolerate his ass. Even a Teflon A-hole like Ricky Gervais was brought to his knees and deleted a tweet he posted accusing James of stealing a joke from his 2018 Netflix special Humanity, because he “started to feel sorry for him.” So you’ve got to trust me on this. It’s not worth the risk.
It’s been exactly three weeks since the day we were all incepted with the concept of an all egg yolk omelet thanks to Keith’s short-lived ban. At that time, James had reportedly dealt with the matter privately by calling Keith to apologize for berating his staff and the matter was dropped, with Keith adding that he felt guilty about all the backlash James had received. But then James turned right around and told the New York Times he hadn’t “done anything wrong, on any level,” so Keith once again #IgnitedInstagram by offering James free food for the next decade if he’d come back to apologize to his staff. The matter again seemed to have been dropped once James apologized on that week’s Late Late Show. But much like a noxious fart in an enclosed space, James’ asshole will not be silenced! So it rang up The London Times to share the news. (via Huffington Post):
Corden publicly apologized on last Monday’s broadcast of “The Late Late Show” for his “ungracious” behavior, but seemed to walk back his own culpability in an interview published Friday in the London Times.
“I mean, it’s so odd. I never screamed at anyone, I didn’t shout, didn’t call anyone a name or swear or use derogatory language. … How is it remotely a thing?” he said in the interview. “And that be OK? And now it’s fact, and that’s that. When that person who posted the story wasn’t even there. Just so odd.”
It’s Mr. That Person to you, James! Here’s Keith’s latest.
I didn’t realize that James was so ungiveupuponable! But I’m glad to know there is a limit to how many second and third chances Keith was willing to extend to James before he ran out-of-focus screen captures with which to dunk on him. You’d think that at his big age, James would be better able to take a joke. But as he proved on Monday’s Late Late Show monologue, he sucks at that too. James took Ricky’s joke verbatim and then later admitted to the theft! According to The Hollywood Reporter:
Corden’s joke was sparked by Elon Musk taking over Twitter and how the self-proclaimed “Chief Twit” has often described the social media platform as a “town square.”
“When you see Elon Musk talk about Twitter, he does this thing where he goes, ‘It’s the town square,’” Corden said on The Late Late Show. “But it isn’t, because if someone puts up a poster in a town square that says ‘guitar lessons available,’ you don’t get people in the town going: ‘I don’t wanna play the guitar!’ But that sign wasn’t for you, it was for somebody else — you don’t have to get mad about all of it.”
In Gervais’ 2018 Netflix special Humanity, the comedian broke down what he hated about irrelevant feedback from angry Twitter users: “… [It’s] like going into a town square, and seeing a big notice board that says, ‘Notice: Guitar lessons,’ and going: ‘I don’t fucking want guitar lessons!’ … Fine! It’s not for you, then. Just walk away, don’t worry about it.”
Ricky posted a clip of James’ version on Twitter with the caption, “The bit about the town square advert for guitar lessons is brilliant,” but later speculated that James’ writers probably gave it to him, adding, “I doubt he would knowingly just copy such a famous stand up routine word for word like that.” My asshole allergies prevent me from knowing if this is also supposed to be “a joke” or if Ricky really thinks that bit is famous. But regardless, a joke was stolen, and James was caught with it red-handed.
Inadvertently told a brilliant Ricky Gervais joke on the show last night, obviously not knowing it came from him. It’s brilliant, because it’s a Ricky Gervais joke. You can watch all Ricky’s excellent specials on Netflix. J x
— The Late Late Show with James Corden (@latelateshow) November 1, 2022
It’s beginning to look like no place is safe for asshole allergy sufferers. Best to delete Twitter, avoid dining out in New York City altogether, and, most importantly, never ever watch any of Ricky’s Netflix specials. Stay safe, and remember to keep your Dolly Parton Epi-Pen on your person at all times.