911 operators everywhere probably got calls from extremely upset tricks screaming, “I’d like to report a hate crime! Jennifer Coolidge was just played off by the band during her Emmys acceptance speech!”
Like Sheryl Lee Ralph, Jennifer Coolidge has been in the game for a while, but recently, she’s been getting some award love for stealing the spotlights in The White Lotus (and she even stole the spotlight from a CGI turd!). At last night’s Emmys, Jennifer was up for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie, and unsurprisingly, she won that shit. While accepting her first Emmy, Jennifer Coolidge went full Jennifer Coolidge by talking about how a lavender bath gave her a case of the body swells, and when her speech went overtime and the band began to play her off, she begged them to stop and eventually decided that if you can’t beat ’em, dance to ’em!
Jennifer Coolidge should’ve already won Oscars for Legally Blonde, American Pie, and Best in Show, but one of her first major awards came to her for her performance in The White Lotus. Jennifer was up against several of her White Lotus co-stars (Connie Britton, Alexandra Daddario, Natasha Rothwell, and Sydney Sweeney) as well as Dopesick‘s Kaitlyn Dever and Mare Winningham. Jennifer’s White Lotus co-star Murray Barlett also won an Emmy last night. After taking the stage to accept her Emmy, Jennifer mentioned her fellow nominees, told us the side effects of a lavender bath, and let us know that she’s the only person on earth who didn’t think she was going to win.
“Hey, hi, hey, hi. Wow, thank you gosh. What a night. I just want to say to my fellow nominees, just to be in your company is incredible. And I just want to say, I took a lavender bath tonight, right before the show, and it made me swell up inside my dress and I’m having a hard time speaking. But anyway, this is so thrilling because you know, well first, oh shit. I didn’t think this was going to happen!”
And while reading names off of a crumpled piece of paper, the band started to play her off. She tried to make them stop by pleading, “Wait, no, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and I’m full, I’m full,” and when the music got louder, she put up the white flag, gave in, and went for it by serving up some sweet moves. It looks like she took a tip from Ashlee Simpson: When all else fails, dance a jig!
Backstage, Jennifer Coolidge said that she understands why they played her ass off. She also showed us that she didn’t play Stifler’s mom for nothing by getting a little flirty with the reporter:
The Emmys are already 8,954 hours too long and are like your average Kardashian since it’s filled to the top with filler, so I get that there’s a limit for speeches but this is Jennifer Coolidge we’re talking about. You don’t play Jennifer Coolidge off, Jennifer Coolidge plays you off (and I guess she kind of did with those moves). They should have just given Jennifer 30 extra seconds and cut shit we didn’t need from elsewhere in the show. “You know, just give Jennifer the extra time and tell that skinny Guy Fieri we randomly pulled off the street to present Outstanding Comedy Series that he can go home. Validate his parking first, though” is definitely something that should’ve been said by an Emmys producer last night.