Congratulations to Josh Duhamel for finally finding a young woman he can bust a middle-aged baby-making nut up into! It was just three years ago when Josh Duhamel said that he’s not 30 years old anymore, so he’s done with random fuck times and “it’s more about finding someone young enough to have kids.” And now 49-year-old Josh is engaged to his 28-year-old girlfriend of a couple of years, model Audra Mari. I’m sure the definition of romance was redefined when Josh got down on one knee and gazed deeply at Audra’s uterus area and asked it to be his…
Josh and Audra, who was Miss World America 2016, first got together in the summer of 2019. Before that, Josh and Eiza Gonzalez were a thing for about a minute in 2018. And, of course, before that Josh married Fergie Ferg in 2009 before they split in 2017 (and the rumor was that their marriage disintegrated from the cheating ho fumes wafting off of Josh’s alleged wandering dick). Fergie and Josh made one child together: a son named Axl Jack Duhamel who is 8 years old. Josh and Fergie’s divorce was finalized in 2019.
Audra Mari turned 28 yesterday, and I guess Josh thinks that’s still young enough for her to be his beloved baby maker because he proposed on her birthday. TMZ says that Josh and Audra have been on vacation in Key Largo, FL since last week and that’s probably where they got engaged. Josh posted the news on Instagram, saying that he proposed to Audra through a message in a bottle. Not pictured: a second bottle that washed up on shore with the message “RUUUUNNNN” in it.
Fergie congratulated her ex-husband and his new fiancee in the comments:
Maybe Fergie went with a green heart emoji because a four-leaf clover emoji is too obvious and she wanted to wish Audra luck in marrying a dude who thinks he’s King Henry VIII.
Speaking of Florida and baby-making, I wouldn’t be surprised if we hear tomorrow that Josh and Audra have ended their engagement. Because why would you want Josh Duhamel’s baby batter when this Florida Man is riding around with an offer that really no one can refuse! There are about to be tons of divorces and break-ups in Florida and the reason will be: Florida Man’s precious unvaxxed jizz.