Josh Duhamel has a load of baby batter ready to go and no cake pan to put it in. He’s prize stud looking for a broodmare. He’s got a pearl necklace he wants some lucky lady to use as vaginal beads (c’mon, its almost Friday). On a recent episode of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast, Josh announced that he’s on the prowl for some hot, young womb action. He’s got one 5 year-old son he shares with his ex-wife Fergie, but he’d really like to expand his family. I guess his previous girlfriend Eiza Gonzalez wasn’t up for the job of being Josh’s personal incubator, so now’s your chance! C’mon ladies, doesn’t anybody want Josh’s spermatozoa!?
According to People, Dax asked Josh about what he was looking forward to in the next stage of his life. Josh really wants to settle down with an eligible girl with a welcoming uterus.
“I’m not 30 years old anymore. I’m 45. I want to have more kids in the next few years. So it’s more about finding someone young enough to have kids. It’s not as if I’m out there trying to just fuck anything. That’s not who I am. I’m trying to find a girl that I can be with and have a family with.”
Sounds like a great opportunity for some young lady who’s looking for a handsome, wealthy, older man who stands up for his family and probably won’t bring back crabs from the strip club. Interested applicants should have ample hips and breasts (natural preferred) and be able to provide a certificate of viability for their entire reproductive system. He’s not trying to just fuck anything, ladies! Make an effort, please.
I’m glad Josh is being up front about his requirements. When we see that his next girlfriend selection is half his age, we’ll know that it’s not because he’s basic. We’ll know he’s chosen her for noble reasons.