When you’re a married man and get caught with your dick in the vacuum cleaner, that’s embarrassing. If you get caught with your dick inside the woman pushing the vacuum cleaner, that’s grounds for divorce. But, if you get caught with your dick in the woman pushing the vacuum cleaner 8 years after the fact because she’s bringing her kid around and people start to notice that he has his thighs, then usually the divorce is swift and merciless. Or so one would assume! Not so for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, who, after 10 long years, have just finalized their divorce. Just imagine, if Arnold had knocked up his vacuum cleaner instead of his housekeeper, he might have gotten away with it by explaining that he purchased that new baby blue Dyson T-1000 for research purposes!
The conclusion to one of the greatest cheating sagas in recent memory comes 24 years after Arnold got with his housekeeper Mildred Baena, and 10 years after Maria first noticed that Mildred’s son Joseph Baena had a Conan-esque look about him that was more Barbarian and less O’Brien. TMZ reports on why it took so damn long:
It may be the most drawn-out divorce in Hollywood history — but after 10 1/2 years, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are single again.
It went down Tuesday morning in L.A. Superior Court … TMZ has learned. The divorce had been mediated by a private judge and that judge signed off on the divorce earlier this month, but it needed to be entered into the court system by a sitting judge, which happened this morning.
As for why this divorce took so long, it’s a combination of lack of motivation and a very complicated property settlement agreement. As we reported, both Arnold and Maria moved on years ago … they both have been in relationships but stayed cordial with each other … and often had family gatherings with their 4 kids.
Never forget that Maria’s a Kennedy and what might be considered a shocking betrayal by some, might be considered to be nothing more than an innocent car ride to the shore with a pretty girl on your arm by others. TMZ previously reported in 2011 that Maria’s Catholic upbringing might have impacted her decision to delay filing for divorce for two years after she found out about Arnold’s affair. They also reported that the deaths of both her parents further delayed proceedings. So you’ll have to forgive the delay, her estate accountants have been very, very, very busy this decade!
As for the property settlement … well, it’s all confidential. But, we know there was a ton of money — an estimated $400 million — and our sources say things pretty much got divided down the middle. There was no prenup.
Arnold and Maria were married in 1986, so it was a long run.
You what they say, history repeats itself. And Arnold and Maria’s son-in-law Chris Pratt idolizes and emulates Arnold at every turn. I wouldn’t be surprised if in another 20 years Chris deals with the sting of a failed gubernatorial reelection campaign by getting caught with his dick in his nutritionist. Hopefully, he’ll be smarter and he’ll only get caught with it in the Nutribullet.