Hot Slut Of The Day!

The Pinnochio Nipples (Pinnipplesio?) from a mid-aughts Mentos commercial!

In the 90s, Mentos didn’t only freshen breaths everywhere, it also blew a minty ball of fuckery into everyone’s eyes with their commercials that made you ask, “Err, is one of the unlisted ingredients in a Mentos LSD because this mess is fucked-up.” There were several Mentos commercials that earned a place in The Museum of WTF, but only one is the Mona Lisa of ridiculous Mentos commercial and that’s the one where a dude grows pencil dick nipples after popping a Mentos. Take that, Red Bull! Because Red Bull may give you wings, but Mentos gives you Grissini nipples!

AdWeek says that Mentos’ hung nipples ad made its debut in Australia in 2006 and quickly became the country’s most complained-about commercial because believe it or not, people do not want to see a man walk around with two uncut noodle peens dangling from his chest. I know, the world really is full of prudes! The commercial was reportedly banned in Italy because again, I guess Italians really didn’t want to think about the Mentos man’s bucatini nipples while slurping up their own bucatini.

Here’s the ad, which features the man using his rigor mortis worms nipples to catch a frisbee, hang his sunglasses on, spin records, and push an elevator button with. It ends with the dude offering a hot woman some Mentos and smirking at the camera, which tells us that he’s about to have a nipple sword fight with the woman after her nipple knobs grow from popping a Mentos:

I honestly did not know that the nipple stretching fetishist demographic was big enough for a mint company to do an entire commercial to try to lure them in as customers, but I guess it is! Seriously, though, while it’d be great to have nipples that mice can do the limbo with, I’m not sure what Mentos was fucking thinking! And if you keep eating Mentos, will your nipples grow so long that they can eventually touch your butthole? Oh, shit! Actually, I just remember I had to go do something. So I’m off now! And no, I’m not off to buy a ton of Mentos at Costco (*wink* wink*)!!!

Pic: YouTube