Oh God, the drunken DM. I’m sure most of us have been there. Liquid courage confidence in the moment, total shame the next day. Now, as magazines have been telling us for years, celebrities are JUST! LIKE! US! And, this past weekend, Lizzo proved this to be true by having one too many drinkies and DM-ing Chris Evans on Instagram. But Chris did the gentlemanly thing, and instead of leaving her on the dreaded silent “read” (shudder), he actually followed Lizzo and responded. Lizzo, how you feelin’? Feeling good as hell?
Lizzo initially posted a TikTok showing off her Insta-DM to Chris: emojis a gust of wind, a basketball player, and a basketball. So, she was literally shooting her shot. Very clever. She reacted to the screenshot of her DM by mouthing along to an audio clip by TikTokker Tatayanna Mitchell, who was also talking about how sexy she finds Chris Evans:
“The reason I’m upset about this one is because I know I’m not going to be able to marry him and honestly it hurts me to the core because damn, Papa, he a rare breed, no comparing. Like Chris-“
Here’s the initial TikTok:
Don’t drink and DM, kids…. for legal porpoises this is a joke
Soon Lizzo dueted her own TikTok (I know, mouthing to “Sounds”, duetting your own video, green screens… TikTok’s truly the wild West), and showed off Chris’ response. She whited out her half of the convo, so I’m gonna guess Lizzo did some follow-up DM-ing the next morning. Probably something like, “Oh shit, sorry, I was drunk.” Cuz this was Chris’ response: “No shame in the drunk DM (kissing face emoji) God knows I’ve done worse on this app lol (palm-in-face emoji)”
Here’s that TikTok:
Chris is probably referring to the time he whoopsy-posted a dick pic to his Instagram Stories. And yes, an accidental nude is probably worse than a drunken DM. This all checks out. Now if Lizzo actually wants to play this right, she’ll stop posting all the DMs to TikTok and actually work on her long game, a la Demi Lovato (unsuccessfully) attempting to thirst-trap Henry Cavill way back in 2018.