Cardi B And Megan Thee Stallion Brought Their WAPs To The Grammys

March 15, 2021 / Posted by:

The socially-distanced Grammys happened last night and it gave us the driest-possible WAP courtesy of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. Megan was a big winner last night and after she performed Savage and Body, Cardi joined her onstage as the fingers of the censors shook with nervousness over making sure no X-rated nastiness got through and caused the ears of the innocent children out there to explode! I think Cardi and Megan managed to rap four words of that song and the rest got hit with the censor hammer.

Megan won three Grammys last night. She won Best New Artist and her Savage remix with Beyoncé got Best Rap Performance as well as Best Rap Song. Here’s Megan basking in the holy light of Beyoncé while accepting the Best Rap Song award.

And here’s Megan doing Body and Savage:

And then there was the PG 13-Rated of WAP known as WAG (Wet And Gushy). Let’s start by saying Cardi was lip-syncing. And let’s just say that if she had to lip-sync for HER LIFE, she’d end up in a grave because she was a mess. But she made up for it with a giant exquisite Lucite hell, which she used to deliver stripper moves. However, the fashion was beyond tacky. I don’t know who styled her, but Cardi looked like she was in an outfit a Drag Race girl would wear for the Galactic Eleganza portion of a Ball, and then Michelle Visage would tear her apart and call “arts and craft.” Not to mention the back-up dancers looking like the strippers of an Avatar-themed strip club:

As for the censoring, it was as messy as Cardi’s lip-syncing. Every other word was practically censored. Just play the instrumental and dance. What was the reason? I actually cackled when Cardi rapped:

“I don’t wanna *pause*. I wanna *pause*. I wanna *pause*. I wanna *pause*.”

What does she wanna do? And through all this censorship, the line “it’s going in dry and coming out soggy,” was still fully allowed. Okay, I need to see the Grammys’ rubric.

Also, Cardi should consider spending less money on Birkins and more on dance lessons. She was looking a little stiff. Or maybe it was just her Folsom Street Community Theatre Tin-Man from Wizard of Oz costume rusting up?

Pic: YouTube

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