Open Post: Hosted By 25 Things You Didn’t Know About Jennifer Coolidge

Jennifer Coolidge. A glamour-puss legend of film and television. But like, what do we really know about her? She’s a curvy blonde with blow-up doll lips and perfect comic timing? I need more! Luckily, Jennifer opened up to Us Weekly and disclosed 25 fascinating personal facts.

You can read them all here, but here are some of my faves:

2. I went on vacation and dated two guys who knew each other. I told them I had an identical twin and went out with both of them.

She needs to write this screenplay immediately.

8. I was born without any energy so everyday involves at least 12 shots of espresso.

Fascinating. Jennifer should be studied (and her heart should be monitored very closely).

9. My house in New Orleans is 150 years old. Some say it’s haunted.

Another fun fact: they actually filmed the interior scenes for the 2017 film The Beguiled in Jennifer’s home.

13. If I can’t find a hair tie [for] a ponytail, I just use my underwear.

I’ve done this, it works.

15. I used to be able to run really fast.

16. I was once locked out of the house and I jumped the fence but didn’t know the gardener had put a new stake in the yard. I got impaled. It was a bloody mess. I’m lucky to be alive.

Ooo, shades of the dramatic climax of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle!

22. I am related to President Calvin Coolidge. I’m his sixth cousin twice removed.

She’s American royalty, people! Bow down. And finally, the highly relatable:

24. If I was stranded alone on an island, I would bring a tweezer, a magnifying mirror and some espresso.

I’m so happy we got to know a little more about the one true celebrity Jennifer (she easily beats out Aniston, Lawrence, Lopez, and Hudson). But there’s something seriously wrong with this world if I’ve always been able to list off J.Lo’s husbands, but it took me until today to learn that J.Cool used to be able to run super fast. Celebrity journalism, get your priorities straight!

Pic: Wenn.com