An Over It Anderson Cooper Called Donald Trump And “Obese Turtle”

November 6, 2020 / Posted by:

Four days (or is it decades?) into this election, and the lawsuits are already flying. Sitting president Donald Trump has mounted cases in no fewer than three states, and the International Turned Over Turtle Alliance has filed one against CNN’s Anderson Cooper for slander, defamation, emotional abuse, and intolerable cruelty after he called the President “an obese turtle on his back flailing in the hot sun.” We knew this was going to be a gloves-off election, but some folks feel that Anderson took things a step too far causing great harm and humiliation to the innocent overturned turtle community in a desperate attempt to secure the title of CNN’s resident edgelord.

Slate reports:

On Thursday night, President Donald Trump delivered a speech from the White House press briefing room in which he baselessly claimed that the election was being stolen from him. Cable news networks swiftly denounced the president’s lies, with MSNBC, NBC, ABC, and CBS all cutting away from the press conference while it was still in progress. Even Fox News, which continued to carry the briefing, said there was no evidence of fraud.

CNN’s anchors were harsher, with Jake Tapper calling the president “pathetic” and Dana Bash calling him “dangerous” and “nonsensical.” It was Anderson Cooper’s retort, though, that became the soundbite of the night. “That is the president of the United States,” Cooper said. “That is the most powerful person in the world. We see him like an obese turtle on his back flailing in the hot sun, realizing his time is over.”

Here’s a clip of the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the Anderson Cooper Presidential Reading Library.

While many are celebrating Anderson’s sick burn, others felt that poking fun at the President’s weight with the term “obese” was unnecessary and unoriginal.

Personally, my first question was how do you even know if a turtle is obese? Turns out, you can totally tell, and being overweight can severely affect their mobility. According to VetStreet:

If you’re not sure whether you’ve even seen a fat turtle, it’s likely you haven’t. When you see one, you won’t forget it. It looks like a typical turtle but with an upper shell (the carapace) and a lower shell (the plastron) that look like they are a few sizes too small. Fat bulges out from their armpits and in front of their back legs. Sometimes their necks are so fat that they can’t pull their heads back into their shells.Excessively obese turtles may not even be able to bear weight on their legs on land and sit beached, like paperweights, until they are back in the water and buoyant. Even in water, their mobility is limited. Turtles typically become fat living in small tanks with little room to swim and by consuming excessive amounts of high-starch pellets that float at the top of their tanks until they have eaten them all.

So it is entirely possible that Anderson wasn’t taking a pop at the president’s weight, but rather, his insult is fact-based and therefore scientifically devastating. And we KNOW Anderson has a passion for turtles. He told us so during his first-ever live broadcast appearance!

Pic: Twitter

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