An Over It Anderson Cooper Called Donald Trump And “Obese Turtle”

Four days (or is it decades?) into this election, and the lawsuits are already flying. Sitting president Donald Trump has mounted cases in no fewer than three states, and the International Turned Over Turtle Alliance has filed one against CNN’s Anderson Cooper for slander, defamation, emotional abuse, and intolerable cruelty after he called the President “an obese turtle on his back flailing in the hot sun.” We knew this was going to be a gloves-off election, but some folks feel that Anderson took things a step too far causing great harm and humiliation to the innocent overturned turtle community in a desperate attempt to secure the title of CNN’s resident edgelord.

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