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November 5, 2020 / Posted by:

The Playground Sand Digger!

Since all the playgrounds around me, growing up, were the Great Value of playgrounds (read: BASIC), we weren’t lucky enough to have a sandbox backhoe. (“Well, if you go to one of those playgrounds now, it’ll have a dirty backhoe in it since that’s what you are.” – you) I did go to playgrounds that were fancy enough to have a sand digger in ’em but never got to ride one since there was usually a line and one asshole-faced selfish brat always hogged it up. But they brought hours upon hours of entertainment. Listen, it was either play on that or get our thigh-skin torched and ripped off from the Lucifer-made metal slide.

The way that a playground backhoe works is that you sit on that extremely comfortable seat and you use those bug antenna-looking things to operate that scooper and scoop up sand before circling around and dumping it. There’s plenty of videos on YouTube showing that technological wonder at work.

Because the 1980s were a simpler time, my little friends and I loved digging in the sandbox for something everyone called “Indian clay” back in the day (again, it was the 1980s). It was dark brown-like clay that was at the bottom of the sandbox and we thought it was actual clay. But some think it’s just dirt and cat shit. Yes, me gleefully and proudly raising up a mound of dirt and cat shit I spent 45 minutes digging up sums up my childhood. But because we were so into doing the extremely laborious task of digging through sand, the playground backhoe would’ve brought me hours of entertainment too. And yes, spending hours moving sand back and forth sums up my adulthood.

Pic: Reddit

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