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May 9, 2020 / Posted by:

The Social Distancing Picnic Blanket!

While some of us are going to stay on lockdown during the summer and spend our days holed up in the house, playing 10 hours of The Sims in total darkness as we guzzle directly from a wine bottle (aka how I spend my time during all seasons), others are going to venture out into the wild to get into nature or some shit. And since we’ll have to social distance for a while, a London-based designer has come up with a perfect picnic blanket to lounge with your friends in the park while making sure you keep the fuck away from each other.

Paul Cocksedge is the father of the social distancing blanket, and with an amazing name like that, he should be starring in gay porn parodies of Bond movies where he plays the villain or be a professor of cock edging. But instead, he’s a designer and came up with the social distancing picnic blanket, called Here Comes The Sun, while going for a walk one day and feeling the need to have human interaction. Gross, Mr. Cocksedge! Don’t admit to being really into the bizarre and unnatural kink of wanting human interaction!

Mr. Cocksedge then decided to design a picnic blanket for the post-lockdown world that keeps everyone six feet apart. via Dezeen

“This adds a level of worry to our future interactions,” he said. “It’s so easy to misjudge two metres, especially when we’re out again socialising with friends and family. It will be hard to remember to keep a distance.”

His Here Comes the Sun blanket is therefore a “playful answer” to this problem, reassuring people by allowing them to meet up while still socially distancing.

You can make it yourself using Mr. Cocksedge’s pattern, which he’s letting people download for free. Here’s how it works:

I don’t really need to make that blanket to social distance, because if I’m ever invited to a picnic and agree to go, I’ll show up, realize the mistake I made, and immediately run off to play 10 hours of The Sims in my own darkened house. And yes, the main reason why this is a HSOTD today is because I wanted to pay tribute to the perfect name of Paul Cocksedge!

Pic: Paul Cocksedge Studio

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