Hot Slut Of The Day!
Chauncey Choco-Dile!
Hostess pooted out chocolate-covered Twinkies called Chocodiles around the 1970s, and since it was the 1970s, they just had to use a fucked-up mascot to sell that shit. The face of Chocodiles was Chauncey Choco-Dile, a cross-eyed, drunken swamp sugar pusher who was obviously a not-so-secret agent for the Diabetes companies because he’d happily give Chocodiles to children.
Even though this country has been nearly torn apart and local wars almost broke out over whether or not the Chocodile was a chocolate-covered Twinkie or a chocolate-flavored Twinkie, the Chocodile was in fact a chocolate-covered Twinkie, which sort of looked like a fat uncut dick that went balls deep into a bottom who didn’t douche after just eating Taco Bell. Hostess created Chauncey and put him on the packaging for Chocodiles, as well as in the commercials. Here’s Chauncey talking the way nearly every 1970s animal cartoon character talked while sneaking up on random kids to give them some Chocodiles. Chris Hansen was a teenage through most of the 70s, but still, that’s old enough for him to get his Junior To Catch A Predator on by nabbing Chauncey’s kid-preying ass!
Chauncey was eventually fired by Hostess as the official pusher of Chocodiles, and Chocodiles themselves became pretty extinct, and were only sold on the West Coast for a time. But Hostess brought back chocolate-covered Twinkies, as well as chocolate cake Twinkies, a few years ago. Even though, they never brought Chauncey back as their mascot, his memory lives on, and he was on a 2009 episode of American Dad where he makes an appearance in the subconscious of Roger, who loves Chocodiles. Chauncey has gone from pusher of Diabetes-inducing bars to actual pimp, and when Stan gets bitchy with Chauncey for shoving him, they get into a fight which ends with Chauncey getting slaughtered by a giant cocktail pick before turning into a huge clown face balloon and floating away.
As for what really happened to Chauncey, I’m sure that at this very second, his not-knowing-how-to-wear-glasses self is outside of a junior high school pushing black market vapes to kids. Once a bad shit pusher, always a bad shit pusher.
Pic: Flickr