R. Kelly Pleaded “Not Guilty” At His Arraignment Today

August 2, 2019 / Posted by:

I tried my hardest to find a picture of R. Kelly wearing sunglasses, because staring into his creepy dead eyes is no way to enter the weekend. Plus, I have a feeling we’re about to see much more of R. Kelly’s eyes in the future. Because he just pleaded “not guilty” to racketeering, kidnapping, and sex trafficking in New York City, which means he’s going to be clocking a bunch more face time in court..

Much like he did in Chicago last month, R. Kelly pled not guilty to the charges against him. In Cook County, R. Kelly was charged with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, then later Chicago and New York got together and dropped more charges in his lap, like child porn and sex trafficking.

TMZ says that R. Kelly was up against a 5-count federal indictment. According to court documents, R. Kelly and others allegedly plotted to coerce minors to perform sex acts on camera, the purpose of which is to fulfill his promise to Satan to solidify a legacy as R&B’s most awful demon. No, legally speaking, the court documents accuse R. Kelly of filming the women to promote his brand and career, and to recruit women to engage in sexual acts with him. Okay, it turns out so my non-legal explanation was technically correct.

R. Kelly is also accused of traveling around the U.S. and overseas to recruit women and girls. He also allegedly used threats of force and violence to make them work for him. Four of the five counts against R. Kelly are violations of the Mann act, which prohibits transporting a person across state lines for sexual purposes.

Pleading “not guilty” in court today might have given him a temporary break from cramping on the cold bench he’s been sitting on in jail, but it wasn’t a long break. TMZ reports that R. Kelly was also denied bail this morning. And R. Kelly’s plea shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone, since he allegedly believes that his accusers are nothing but “disgruntled groupies.

At the very least, we’re all lucky R. Kelly even made it to court this morning. Page Six reports that R. Kelly’s lawyer allegedly had a hard time tracking the location of his client after being transferred from lock-up in Chicago to a lock-up in Brooklyn. Something not difficult to find was R. Kelly’s loyal posse of supporters outside of the courthouse this morning.

Also in attendance was R. Kelly’s loyal/mentally trapped girlfriends, Azriel Clary and Joycelyn Savage.

I know Azriel and Joycelyn are prime examples of learning to love yourself, but really – they need to love themselves. Literally any other fish in the sea would be an upgrade. Heck, they might even be able to get a guy who doesn’t look like he’s struggling to hold in a shit in his court room sketch.

Pic: Instagram

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