Gwyneth Paltrow Took Credit For The Gluten-Free Craze And Thinks Psychedelic Drugs Are The Next Big Thing

March 7, 2019 / Posted by:

Gwyneth Paltrow, inventor of yoga, is back on her bullshit and took credit for the “gluten-free” craze in a recent New York Times interview. Also, the whole concept of a drama-free break up (aka “conscious uncoupling”), that was because of her incredible influence as well. Lady Da Vinci has given us so much already, but she’s not done yet! The next big thing, according to G.P. (“as she is known to friends“), will probably be medicinal psychedelics. So when you start seeing middle-aged white ladies lined out the door for a Psilocybin Matcha Macchiato at Starbucks, you’ll know who to thank.

When G.P. was asked about the products and services she’s promoted that have been “well known flops”, she said she had never in her life had sex with anybody under the age of 17. Oops, sorry, no, that was someone else. Apparently, Gwyn’s never had a flop though. Not even her “psychic vampire repellent”.

When we talk about something that is incendiary, I always see in six months other people starting to write about it, and 18 months later, businesses popping up around it. It’s always confirmation to me that we’re on the right track. I mean, when I did my gluten-free cookbook in 2015, the press was super negative and there were personal attacks about what I was feeding my children and what kind of mother I am. Now the gluten-free market is huge.

Nobody can turn a frown upside down quite like G.P.! And she was just getting warmed up.

Or conscious uncoupling. People were like, “This is insane, you’re crazy.” And now it’s sort of talked about as a thing that people think might be possible for them. And I’m always fascinated by why talk about female sexuality or female genitalia makes people so angry. The idea that a woman might have autonomy around her own sexual health or her own feelings, why is that threatening?

Whoa! What in the jade egg does “female genitalia” have to do with her goofy word for divorce? Even though she claims to have never tried psychedelics, it sounds like she was on them for this interview. They were certainly on her mind, she thinks they are going to become the next big thing.

NYT: So what’s the next big thing? What’s the next gluten free or conscious uncoupling?

G.P. I think how psychedelics affect health and mental health and addiction will come more into the mainstream.

I just knew it in my bones that when Martha Stewart announced she was getting into the weed business, G.P. would be out here within minutes trying to one-up her. And as always, G.P. didn’t disappoint. G.P. took one look at that and said “oh, CBD oil for pets, how 2017. Well, what about psychedelics, MARTHA!!!” to which I say “oh, therapeutic psychedelics, how 1957 of you Gwyneth!”.

For me though, the Goopy icing on this gluten-free cake was when G.P. tried to defend herself against accusations of elitism.

A lot of people hear, “Hey, you could eat a bit better or exercise a bit more.” But they don’t want to take responsibility for themselves. So it’s easier to be critical of an entity or a person who is suggesting that, than it is to start making small, perhaps uncomfortable shifts in their lives.

The true tenets of wellness are all free. Being in nature, meditating, eating whole foods. If you told our grandparents that eating whole, natural foods was elitist, they would have thought you were crazy.

And in the very next breath she was talking about the matcha tea she had at a silent meditation retreat at a monastery in the Catskills. Well excuse me! We weren’t all given our 40-acres and a horse ranch, Gwyneth.


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