Open Post: Hosted By Tesla’s New “Dog Mode”

March 12, 2019 / Posted by:

Elon Musk has finally found a way to get Tesla some good publicity after he spent his summer driving their name into the ground. First he called a Thai cave rescuer a pedophile. Then his girlfriend at the time, Grimes, invited her friend Azealia Banks, to come party at Elon’s house and she ended up exposing him. And then he plummeted stock prices by getting high with douche-bro legend Joe Rogan. And finally, Elon got charged with securities fraud. This all led to Elon having to step down as chairman of the company. Best summer ever, amirite!? Well Elon found a way to salvage things with one simple tool: DOGS!

People is reporting that Tesla has announced a new feature. You know how demons are always leaving their dogs in cars and some good samaritan has to come around and break their window to save the poor animal (and sometimes child) sweating to death inside? Well that will still happen! But now, people who are rich enough to buy a Tesla will no longer have that problem.

Tesla announced “Dog Mode.” Dog Mode is a setting on Teslas that can be activated when pets are left in the car to ensure that they are kept in a temperature controlled environment and don’t die. They revealed the feature on Twitter by posting this video which will make anyone with eyes and a working heart go: “Awwwww.”

And if that wasn’t enough to make you forget that Tesla’s former chairman was out here calling rescue-workers pedophiles, here’s a longer video!

When in Dog Mode, the car will have a display that lets people know that you’re a rich bitch, honey, and your dog is chilling in better air conditioning than the peasants walking outside have at their homes.

Elon added one final note to the announcement, telling everyone that Teslas actually always do this through something called “Cabin Overheat Protection” but this Dog Mode is special and new:

So Tesla has always cared about babies and doggos and you should really forget all about the disastrous summer of the company’s founder, mmmkay? Now, if only Tesla could design something to protect chickens from Azealia Banks

Pic: Tesla

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