Much as Kristian predicted on Friday, it wasn’t a very good weekend for Elon Musk. Normally a shitty weekend for Elon might be one in which he returns from the weed shop to find Azealia Banks at his front door. This weekend in particular saw Elon losing his title as chairman of Tesla Inc., a title he’s had since 2004. Is there a strain of sativa called Bummed-Out Billionaire? Because Elon’s probably going to need about a pound of it.
There were hints that the US Security and Exchange Commission launched an investigation after Elon was rumored to be thinking of taking Tesla private and setting share valuation at $420 (inspired by his love of weed). Tesla stock dropped after Elon went on The Joe Rogan Experience and proved he’s too cool for the shareholders by lighting up a joint. On Friday it was reported that the SEC had charged Elon with securities fraud. The SEC wasn’t happy with Elon because he allegedly didn’t run any $420 valuation or secured funding by potential financing partners. Specifically, they considered his actions to be in violation of antifraud provisions of the federal securities laws.
The SEC requested Elon be dismissed as CEO of the company. On Saturday, Tesla Inc. and the SEC came to an agreement on how to solve their Elon problem. According to CNBC, Elon will remain CEO of Tesla Inc., but he will step down as chairman of the board for at least three years. The SEC has settled charges with Elon, and they’re fine with Elon staying on as CEO. But along with his exit as the chairman of the board, he’ll also be required to pay a $20 million fine. The SEC also imposed a $20 million fine on Tesla Inc.
The SEC released the following statement on the matter, and they made it clear they were going for the opposite of any usual slap-on-the-wrist corporate justice.
“This matter reaffirms an important principle embodied in our disclosure-based federal securities laws. Specifically, when companies and corporate insiders make statements, they must act responsibly, including endeavoring to ensure the statements are not false or misleading and do not omit information a reasonable investor would consider important in making an investment decision.”
CNBC also points out that Tesla’s settlement with the SEC might be one of the quickest in history. The settlement is still subject to court approval, but Tesla most likely won’t appeal because they just want to move forward and avoid any bad publicity from a dragged-out court battle. According to CNN, Tesla Inc. stock climbed high after the deal was made.
Elon hasn’t commented on the $20 million fine or his three-year suspension as chairman. But much earlier today, he tweeted a link to Naughty by Nature’s “OPP” with a winky-faced emoji. Which might be a wink to his impact of Tesla’s profits. Or maybe he’s trying to tell us he’s a fan of other people’s pussy, which…ew, Elon, stop, and put down your phone.
Naughty by Nature ?https://t.co/muZdxJWjyZ
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 1, 2018
It’s too bad not all of Tesla’s board members are as childish as Elon is. Because I would love to see whoever Tesla picks as their interim chairman tweet a link to JoJo’s “Leave (Get Out)” on the day Elon removes his desk nameplate from the boardroom table.