(Side note: Since my idea of weightlifting is lifting a can of Pringles while on the couch, you might be thinking that I learned the bro phrase “making gains” from watching a gay porn scene that takes place in a gym. And you’d be right.)
The floor at the gym in heaven is covered with kneeling muscle bros bowing down to a legendary buff icon as he waddled on in. Roger The Buff Kangaroo, who became an internet star and won Hot Slut of the Month in 2015, has died at the age of 12. No, Roger didn’t die in a lifting accident gone wrong. That’s not possible since Roger could lift ANYTHING. Roger died of the olds.
The Kangaroo Sanctuary in the town of Alice Springs in Australia’s North Territory is where Roger was living and causing ‘roo genitals to quiver with his ginger muscle daddy hotness. The Kangaroo Sanctuary announced on their Facebook that he has hopped on to the afterworld:
Sadly Roger has passed away of old age. He lived a lovely long life and was loved by millions around the world. We will always love you and miss you Roger
The Pump You Up Roo’s caretaker said in a Facebook video that the sanctuary was built for Roger and his wives, and he was the alpha king of that land for many years, so that’s where he’ll be buried.
They also posted the last picture taken of Roger, which could easily be the cover of PlayRoo.
Rest in peace, Roger. You are now in heaven, making the kangaroo angels swoon by easily crushing a jar of Vegemite with your eight-pack covered paws.