You guys are so lucky. A journalist had to spend at least a month receiving very personal text messages from Lena Dunham, then had to visit her at both her California bungalow and her parents’ “stately residence” and interview her for what probably amounted to hours upon hours of solipsistic tedium. Then I had to read the resulting profile which gave me a migraine and mild indigestion. Now you get to sit there wherever you are and reap the benefits of our suffering. Think about that when you tell your friend later that you read somewhere that Lena is thinking about adopting a “hairless black puppy” that she wants to name Rosa but was worried people would be mad at her “bc of Rosa Parks bc” she has to “consider those things”. So, consider that!
In a lengthy profile for The Cut, Lena opened up, perhaps wider than ever before (she’s very flexible and therefore good at sex), about her uterus (claiming her surgeon told her she had “the most misshapen and diseased uterus I’ve seen in my entire career” which, weird flex, but ok), her relationship with Jack Antonoff, how she hasn’t spoken to Lorde since they broke up, and then she dragged the animal shelter employee who contradicted her about her Lamby, the dog she adopted and later surrendered. Oh, and apropos of absolutely nothing, Lena asked the person interviewing her if both of the interviewer’s parents were black.
On Jack and Lorde:
First of all, Jack hates cats and won’t come to her house because she has three hairless Sphynx cats that suck on each other and make “loud slurp-slurp noises while one cat Hoovers the other’s belly” which, honestly, is the least gross thing about this interview. Lena says that she believed Jack when he denied having hooked up with Lena’s pal Lorde.
“I don’t think anything happened between them. I can never know someone else’s life. I have never spoken to Ella [Lorde] about it. We haven’t talked since Jack and I broke up. It was awful, and I couldn’t do anything about it except trust that what he was saying to me was true.”
Lena insists that she is a very committed pet owner, “ask anybody who works with [her] on a pet level”, just don’t ask the shelter employee who worked with her on her adoption of Lamby, a dog she owned for 4 years before re-homing him after he bit her on the butt. Lena claimed Lamby was abused as a puppy, something a BARC representative contradicted in the press.
“what animal-shelter guy is like, ‘I’m an electronic DJ, and I’m also looking to talk to Yahoo! Celebrity’? But dragging him through the court of public opinion like that doesn’t get me anywhere. It’s better just to kick back and be like, ‘Okay, sir, you can extend your career by telling people what a bad dog owner I was.’ ” She throws up her hands. “That was one where I was truly like, Welp! Ain’t life rich.”
How generous of her. By the way, her two poodles live in her guesthouse with Paul, her interior decorator.
Race is a chronic blind spot for her because she didn’t grow up with a lot of diversity in her New York City private school, she explains.
See, totally not her fault. Lena made up for it by including “artists and writers of color” on Lenny Letters. Which worked, until it didn’t when Lena horrified friends and colleagues by questioning the veracity of rape accusations against her friend and reports of Lena’s “hipster racism” helped shutter Lenny Letter for good. And I know all this but still don’t know if the journalist’s parents are both black!