Private chefs must have tough jobs; constantly preparing overly-specific meals for finicky rich people must get irritating fast. Now imagine that rich person is the actual QUEEN of England. That shit is too real. The Mirror is reporting that the job may be open for new talent, as a cook once served up something the Queen certainly did not find appetizing: an actual slug. No word if she snapped for one of her minions and said, “I’ve got a Camilla in my salad. Banish it from my sight at once!” Queen Elizabeth II dines exactly how you would imagine she does, selecting her meals from a “red leather-bound book put together by the royal chef” where she “marks her choices in pencil, crossing out dishes she doesn’t want and writing in suggestions.” Depending how she likes the meal, Her Majesty will tear a page from the “comments book” and give the cooks her feedback. This girl has a Burn Book specifically for her cooks. Imagine the comments the gardeners get.
Now on one specific occasion the Queen showed off “a little bit” of her “sense of humor.” After discovering a dead slug in her salad she placed the creature’s corpse on the comment paper and wrote:
“I found this in the salad – could you eat it?”
See that’s not a joke. The Queen was literally telling those hoes in the chef’s quarters that they need to eat this dead slug. You think you’re putting a dead bug on the Queen’s plate and not getting yours?
While feeding the Queen seems like a friggin’ production, she actually prefers “a simple taste in food” but she’s a Queen so what these people consider simple is not at all what we do. Her former chef, Darren McGrady, said she likes “clean and simple” meals like “grilled Dover sole on wilted spinach.” $10 to the person who knew what a Dover sole was before they Googled it.
I think we all know how that slug got in the Queen’s salad. Samantha Markle strikes again! The Wile E. Coyote to the Royal Family’s Roadrunner, that girl is always trying to pull one over on them royals. This time it was a slug, but wait til next time. The Queen will take a sip from her cup expecting Darjeeling tea and she will find it’s common English Breakfast! Samantha Markle: always fucking with them royals.