Chris Brown Was Finally Served

May 6, 2017 / Posted by:

And no, I don’t mean at one of the 53,000 restaurants he’s probably been banned from for acting like Chris Brown (translation – acting like a messy douche). Chris was finally served with the restraining order that his on-again-off-again-currently-way-off-again girlfriend Coochie Train (translation – Karrueche Tran) filed against him. If Chris is good at anything besides beating up women and being a dangerous and violent asshole, it’s avoiding process servers. But one particularly industrious one caught up with him in Houston, TX. And on his birthday, no less.

TMZ reports that stalking realist Chris was leaving his 28th born day bash last night at Groove nightclub (I don’t think I’d ever enter a nightclub with that frommage-ian name) when he was passed some papers. Happy Birthday, Breezy, stay 5000 feet away! What a great birthday present. He was reportedly “pissed.” Oh no, hide the guns.

Chris had instructed his legal team not to accept the papers that alert him of Ms. Tran’s restraining order. She claims that Chris “threatened to shoot her and has resorted to physical violence, punching her in the stomach and throwing her down the stairs.” Karrueche’s lawyers were reportedly consulting with a private company to serve Chris. It looks like perusing the “highest-rated process servers” category on Angie’s List paid off.

You can watch Chris get served in the video from TMZ, below. It happens near the very end. They didn’t use an envelope, probably because that would have clued him in. He probably thought it was erotic poetry from a fan or the announcement that he’s receiving a Kennedy Center Honor. At least, I think it was legal documents. It could have been anything. What if they have it all wrong and it’s actually just a photocopy of the girl menu at the brothel to which he’s probably heading? *sad-face*


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