Pepsi Pulled Their World Peace-Making Commercial Starring Kendall Jenner

April 5, 2017 / Posted by:

Bringing about world peace with a can of carbonated sugar water must really overheat a trick.

Yesterday, Pepsi caused a firestorm that was bigger than the one on Michael Jackson’s head while shooting that commercial in the 80s. Pepsi butt burped up an extra thick shit balloon of a commercial that showed Kendull Jenner ditching a modeling shoot to join a protest where she bravely brings everyone together with a can of Pepsi. Ridiculous! Everyone knows that the only syguary drink that has the power to change the world was Orbitz, bitches!

Many pointed out that Kendull facing a cop was very, very similar to an award-winning picture of protester Ieshia Evans standing her ground in front of police officers during a Black Lives Matter protest in Baton Rouge, LA. Ieshia was arrested, and obviously that wouldn’t have happened if she just gave the cop a Pepsi.

It was an ad that Bobby Draper probably came up with while meditating at a spiritual retreat.

At first, Pepsi stood by the commercial by saying that it “showcases a moment of unity, and a point where multiple storylines converge in the final advert.” But I guess that after an emergency meeting with the board, who decided that the backlash may fuck with their dollars, they pulled it and apologized to… Kendull. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“Clearly, we missed the mark, and we apologize. We did not intend to make light of any serious issue. We are pulling the content and halting any further rollout. We also apologize for putting Kendall Jenner in this position.”

Sure you could say that Kendull knew what she was doing. But in Kendull Jenner’s defense (every time someone types that, a demon gets its horns), she does live in a bubble and probably doesn’t even know what a protest is. She thought it was a block party and the “cops” were really male models wearing outfits from Balenciaga’s latest men’s collection.

The ratings for Keeping Up with the Kardashians are down and the Blac Chyna/Rob/Tyga storyline hasn’t really taken off. This Pepsi commercial is the most attention that one of Pimp Mama Kris’ hos has gotten in a while. So now that PMK knows that the key to getting tons of attention is to be even more offensive and out-of-touch than they already are, expect to see a commercial for Kylie Cosmetics where Kylie Jenner travels to a Syrian refugee camp (a studio in Burbank) and turns the frowns of the refugees (played by fans who paid to be in a Kylie Cosmetics commercial) into painted smiles with Kylie Lip Kits (in limited-edition shades: Woke and Syriasly Sexy)*.

* All proceeds from the sale of these limited-edition Kylie lip kits will go directly to charity and yes, “charity” is PMK’s nickname for her wallet. 

Pic: Instagram

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