Cara Delevingne And St. Vincent Are Probably Over

September 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Prepare to send a bouquet of “I’m sorry for your loss” roses to your cool teen cousin, for they will truly be shook to the core of their Nasty Gal choker by this news. According to The Sun, Cara Delevingne and singer St. Vincent (real name: Annie Clark) have once again broken up.

The Sun says they pulled the plug on their relationship during Cara’s promotional tour for Suicide Squad last month. A source says that Cara and St. Vincent liked each other, but the long-distance thing wasn’t working for them. No word on if their breakup was amicable or messy, but I like to picture Cara pressed a handful of her eyebrow hairs into St. Vincent’s palm and whispered “Remember me?” before her taxi pulled away.

This would be breakup number…three? I think? It’s confusing. 24-year-old Cara and 33-year-old St. Vincent started dating early last year, then they broke up a couple months later. Then they got back together. Then they broke up in July of 2015. Then they got back together. And now they’re broken up again. Stay tuned for next week when there will be a 50% chance that I will be typing the words “Cara Delevingne and St. Vincent are doing each other again.

Neither Cara not St Vincent have confirmed this news themselves. But I’m sure that hasn’t stopped Kris Jenner from texting Cara and asking if she’d be willing to channel some of that recently single energy into some more gayelle-for-publicity action with Kendall Jenner. “Hi Cara! Tried to work the Harry Styles angle again, but it seems like people don’t care. Give me a call if you’d be willing to get some attention in the near future!


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