Sad Johnny Depp Is Hiding Out In The Bahamas
On Tuesday, Michael posted some recent-ish pap pictures of Amber Heard during his post about Johnny Depp’s ongoing bromance with Doug Stanhope, and it made me realize that I hadn’t seen any new pictures of Johnny Depp’s dirty ass in a while. My first thought was that maybe he had gone incognito to throw off the paps, like wearing an elaborate disguise, or showering. As it turns out, there’s a reason for why we haven’t seen Johnny Depp recently. He’s still in the Bahamas.
A source tells People that poor sad Johnny is so sad about everything that has been happening with his soon-to-be ex-wife lately, he hasn’t left his private island in the Bahamas. He’s been there for a couple of weeks and he’s not going back to L.A. anytime soon.
“He has no plans to return to L.A. He misses nothing about L.A. but his kids, and they are visiting him in the Bahamas.”
The source claims that Johnny’s daughter Lily-Rose Depp has recently visited him on Scarf Island. His son Jack and Johnny Depp Fanclub Member Vanessa Paradis will visit sometime in the next couple of days. The source adds that a whole bunch of Johnny’s friends have flown to the island to hang out with him. Apparently Johnny “likes being surrounded by people” and that everyone is “trying to cheer him up.”
Johnny can’t stay on his private island forever. He’s due back in the United States in July to continue touring with the Hollywood Vampires.
I totally get having a Calgon, take me away moment when shit gets ugly. But it’s a little surprising to me that his private island in the Bahamas is still his happy place. Johnny seems like a ~superstitious~ type that would think there was too much bad vibes on the island leftover from their second wedding ceremony. But maybe that’s why he keeps having so many damn visitors. They’re not there to keep him company; they’re there to help him cleanse the island of all of Amber’s energy. “Hey guys! Don’t forget to pack your shaman-blessed sage! And if someone could bring me a couple extra quartz crystals, that would be great.”