Hot Slut Of The Day!
The compassionate, simple and non-materialistic blossom who turned down a wedding proposal because the ring was too small!
This is probably a PR stunt for a jewelry store or a Chinese dating app. Or the heartbroken dude is going to be The Bachelor in China and this is a shameless staged prologue leading up to that. But I’m posting about it, because I cannot ignore a demure gold digger who truly cares about what’s important in life!
The Chinese site NetEase (via Shanghaiist) says that a dude set up an elaborate surprise flash mob proposal for his girlfriend on the streets of Chengdu in the Sichuan province in China. When he brought his girlfriend to some sort of square, a bunch of people danced for her before he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. The chick started crying. She probably wasn’t crying because the dude she loves was about to ask her to marry him. She was probably crying because her finger was about to marry the gigantic diamond ring of her dreams!
When the dude showed her the ring, her hot tears of happiness turned into cold tears of pure sadness. He didn’t go to Jared. He went to Jared Jr! Cheap ass bought her a ring that was even smaller than her heart. She did what ANYONE would do. She turned her ass around and made her flapper skirt flap by walking the hell away without saying one word. After the story and pictures went viral in China, texts between the girlfriend and her friend magically leaked:
In it the girlfriend says, “But he agreed to buy me a diamond ring as large as one carat. Why was this one so small? Is he so careless or has he ever cared about me?”
Her friend replies, “Don’t worry. Perhaps the bigger one will be waiting for you later or he hasn’t prepared it this time.”
That’s strangely a lot like the text conversations my friends and I have about the dick size of the tricks we’ve met on Grindr. That is some “He told me it was 8 inches and always hard and it even looked big next to a remote control in a picture he sent me” kind of bullshit.
Of course, many people are like, “Awwww, poor guy, but he dodged a gold digging bullet and he’ll find a woman who loves him for him.” Blah blah blah, whatever. My heart is with the gold digger. She thought that she was finally going to meet her soulmate (a one carat diamond ring), but all she got was a box full of heartbreak. Dude may as well have presented her with a turd that had the words “I hate you!” engraved into it. She dodged a broke bullet and she’ll find a sugar daddy who knows that she loves diamonds more than him.
And let this be a lesson to us all: Nothing good comes out of a flash mob proposal.
Pic: NetEase