“The View” Is Really, Really Subtle With Its Damage Control

September 18, 2015 / Posted by:

The View is really back! It’s been only six seconds from their season premiere and they’ve already managed to cause a shit load of OUTRAGE and a boycott was called. On the patio of her Florida mansion, Barbara Walters cooed out, “Now that’s the show I created and love,” right before she continued to live that retiree life by doing a Metamucil and vodka shot off of her pool boy’s shaved crotch.

It all started the morning after the Miss America pageant when Michelle Collins brought up the monologue about being a nurse that Miss Colorado gave during the talent show section. They showed a clip of Miss Colorado delivering the monologue while wearing her nurse uniform. Joy watched the clip and piped in with, “Why does she have a doctor’s stethoscope around her neck?”  And with that, the #nursesmatter hash tag was born, a thousand hate letters from nurses were launched and people I didn’t even know are nurses dragged The View tricks by the hair on Facebook.

The next day, Michelle and Joy delivered a “We Sorry” bouquet of balloons to all nurses. Joy should’ve left it at that, but she just had to try to explain herself. Joy pretty much admitted that her asshole did the talking when she wondered about the “doctor’s stethoscope,” because she didn’t even know that Miss Colorado is a nurse. Joy thought that Miss Colorado was just wearing a costume. Joy then played the “I have a nurse friend!” card by saying she knows nurses and knows that they use stethoscopes. The explanation didn’t help and the show lost two advertisers. Johnson & Johnson and Eggland’s Best Eggs announced that they were done giving advertising money to The View. J&J also said that they’re going to use the money they’re saving from advertising with The View to start a donation drive for nursing scholarships.

The Damage Control Express kept choo-choo chooing along on The View today and it hit full speed when they brought out a bunch of nurses to talk about what nurses do. Dear The View, I already know what nurses do, because I watch Getting On, Nurse Jackie, Nurses and Call The Midwife.

I wonder if any of the nurses they had on was a vet nurse, because that electrocuted Pomeranian on Raven’s head was obviously in trauma and needed immediate attention! But really, I haven’t seen this episode yet, but I’m assuming that at the end of the show, the nurses lined up and took turns whipping Joy in the head with their stethoscopes. And there, everything’s fine now. You can come back now Johnson & Johnson!

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