May 14, 2015 / Posted by:

Johnny Derp’s Yorkies, Boo and Pistol, might get shot up with death juice and sent to heaven because their dumbass, entitled human smuggled them into Australia while ignoring its quarantine laws. Dead Yorkies walking 🙁

Like many countries, Australia is NOT THE ONE when it comes to animals coming in from foreign places. Dogs coming into Australia from other countries must spend at least 10 days in a government quarantine facility. That’s nothing compared to other countries. (Japan’s quarantine period is up 180 days and some countries don’t even allow foreign dogs in.) When Johnny Depp flew back to Australia from the US on a private jet to continue shooting the 1,800th Pirates of the Caribbean movie, he brought Boo and Pistol with him. Johnny completely ignored Australia’s quarantine laws the same way he ignores basic hygiene upkeep. Boo and Pistol didn’t spend one second in a quarantine facility and they went straight to Johnny’s mansion. Authorities discovered that Boo and Pistol were in the country illegally when a groomer in Maudsland, Queensland posted a picture of them on Facebook and bragged about grooming them.

CNN says that Australia is pissed and has thrown down an ultimatum: Johnny can either put Boo and Pistol back on a plane headed for the US or they will be sent on a one-way trip to the afterworld. They gave Johnny until Saturday (it’s already Friday in Australia) to save Boo and Pistol by getting them out of Australia. Australia’s Minister of Agriculture, Barnaby Joyce (that’s a hot name), said in a televised statement that Johnny Depp isn’t going to get special treatment just because he’s famous. And yes, an Australian government official actually referred to him as a two-time “Sexiest Man Alive.

Joyce said that a 51-year-old man, Jonathan Christopher Depp, decided to bring two dogs to “our nation, despite not getting the proper certification and the proper permits required. Basically it looked like he snuck them in.”

“Now Mr. Depp needs to take his dogs back to California or we’re going to have to euthanize them. He’s now got about 50 hours (out of a 72-hour notice period).”

The minister said that the Department needed to crack down on this high-profile case to make a point about Australia’s stringent animal import laws.

“If we start letting movie stars, even if they’ve been ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ twice, to come into our nation then why don’t we just break the laws for everybody. It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States. After that I don’t expect to be invited to the opening of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean.'”

Threatening to put Boo and Pistol down for a dirt nap is a little much, but laws are laws. Johnny and Amber Heard could easily tuck Boo and Pistol into a plush leather seat on their private jet and fly those pooches to safety.

Australia is rabies-free, so I understand why they’re serious about that shit. But what I don’t understand is, if they want to stay rabies-free and are serious about staying rabies-free, why did they let Johnny Depp in? Why did Johnny Depp get to skip quarantine? That is the question, Barnaby Joyce!

And here’s some old pictures from last year of Amber and one of the Yorkies in an airport.

Pics:, Splash

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