The School of Art Institute of Chicago has gone and done it. They have injected forty five hundred gallons of steroids into Kanye West’s already inflated ego by giving him an honory doctorate. Great, now every one of his rants will end with, “And I’m a doctor, bitch!”
Kanye Kardashian (née West) followed in the footsteps of Kermit the Frog, Kylie Minogue, Alexander Skarsgard, Steven Tyler and Mike Tyson yesterday by getting an honorary degree, which sometimes is a school’s way of saying, “Here is a meaningless piece of paper that we’re giving you in hopes that you’ll buy us a library one day.” No, he didn’t get an honorary doctorate for advanced fuckery. The Chicago Tribune said that the college drop-out finally graduated yesterday with 900 students of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Apparently, before the ceremony, many students rolled their eyes over their school giving Kanye an honorary doctorate. Did those students learn nothing during all their years there? Don’t they know that Kanye is thee sole creator of leather jogging pants and for that alone he deserves ALL the honorary doctorates in every subject.
Even though some students were not amused by Kanye getting honored, none of them grabbed the mic during his speech to say, “Imma let you finish, but us 900 students who actually finished and have a shit load of student loans to pay off are the greatest graduates of all-time!” Kanye’s graduation speech only lasted 5 minutes, which may be a record low for him since his speeches usually last about as long as it takes a fart to travel out of Kim Kartrashian’s ass (approximately 6 hours, 45 minutes and 13 seconds). Kanye gave a short pep talk and then told the students that he praised the School of Art Institute of Chicago during his lecture at Oxford.
After the graduation, one graduate talked to the Chicago Tribune about some people having a problem with Kanye’s honorary doctorate:
“Not everyone loved Jesus at first. Not everyone loves Yeezus. That’s how I see it.”
I mean…. Either that 20-something graduate was Kanye wearing a 20-something graduate mask or that graduate needs to have their diploma snatched away and put in the shredder. They need to do college over again, because they obviously have a lot more to learn if they’re freely and causally spewing out crazy shit like that. That’s how I see it!
Kim Kartrashian Instagrammed the above picture of Kanye knowingly smiling in front of a camera and added the caption: “Dr. Kanye West!!!!!!! I’m so proud of you baby & I know your mom would be so proud too!!!!” I’m sure Dr. Yeezus will write the same kind of Instagram caption for her when she finally receives an honorary doctorate in ho shit from my alma mater UTI (University of Trashy Imbeciles).
And here’s the doctor’s wife (you know she’s going to write that on her Twitter bio) at some event in São Paulo yesterday.