“What’s a Madonna?” said the average Snapchat user who is around 13 years fucking old.
Madge usually only mingles with the children when she needs to capture one to drink its virgin blood so her face stays tighter than an acrophobiac’s b-hole while standing in a hot air balloon, but she mingled with the children today because she wants them to buy her new album. Madge (seen above giving you plastic marionette after sucking on a lemon) skipped on over to the preschool playground of social media known as Snapchat and dropped her video for “Living For Clicks” (Aren’t we all?). “Living For Love” is the first single off of her new album Rebel Heart, which leaked everywhere yesterday and I’m already disappointed that I’m not watching video after video of the Glittery Gays of YouTube singing along to her songs with black shoelaces tied around their faces.
Billboard says that “Living For Love” debuted on Snapchat’s “Snap Channel” section, whatever the fuck that is, and the app’s 200 million users can watch it there. This shit is totally going to become a trend, isn’t it? Try not to look too shocked when Taylor Swift debuts her new video on the Pinterest app. What am I saying? She’ll debut it on Grindr because she’ll want her ex-boyfriends to see it.
If you’re an old bitch like me and don’t have Snapchat on your iPhone, because you don’t have room thanks to the Werther’s Original and AARP apps, here’s the video. I’m surprised the video is nothing but Madge crotch humping the face of a Martin Luther King Jr. impersonator wrapped in black licorice.
That shit is very American Horror Story: Take A Bow. It’ll definitely get yanked off, because Madge wants you to download Snapchat to see it, so if that happens click here.