Ariana Grande Latte Hates Santa Claus

December 27, 2014 / Posted by:

Seen above fighting the urge to barf on Santa’s face and stab him with that Empire State Building statue, the Emo Betty Spaghetty doll known as Ariana Grande tells the Daily Star (via The Daily Mail) that she hates Santa Claus as much as she hates the right side of her mug. Even though the human version of an evil Yorkie puppy has a Christmas song out called “Santa Tell Me,” she says that when she thinks of Santa she feels the same thing you feel when you see her busting out her usual baby prostitute moves. She is repulsed.

“I’m repulsed by Santa. My song might sound cheerful but it’s really quite sardonic and depressing. I’m like saying, “Santa, what is your deal, bro?” I’ve had my heart broken multiple times around this time of year. I feel although it’s one of the most cheerful times of the year, I see tons of heartbreak and they make movies about it. It’s like a (Wham!) Last Christmas vibe.”

There’s always one of those “edgy” hipster toddlers on the pre-school playground who says they are so over Santa Claus.

Santa gives Ariana the voms yet she still uses his name to sell her stupid Christmas song? That shady baby bitch. But I have a feeling that something happened for Ariana to have such hate in her dark-sided heart for Santa. Either she ends up on the “asshole kids” list every year and Santa only leaves her a stocking full of shit or she not only looks like a diabolical elf, she is a diabolical elf and used to work in his workshop but was fired for being evil. I’m going with that one.

Here’s Santa’s #1 hater performing with Magica De Spell at one of those jingle balls things in Sunrise, FL on December 21st.


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