Who Worked It Better?

September 8, 2014 / Posted by:

You’re like “Uh, is this a trick question?“. Obviously your first instinct is, duh, legendary loony chest-pounding French Canadian chanteuse Celine Dion worked it better, will always work it better, will work it backwards better. But there’s something about Rihanna’s sloppy-as-all-hell sleeves and loose titty draping that has a certain “Je ne sais give le fuck” that is truly risk-taking. Not to mention that her ensemble sort of makes her look like a hastily-rolled human-sized joint, which truly evokes the essence of RiRi. Celine just looks like a lady in a backwards suit. RiRi takes it! However, all bets are off if Rihanna tries to whip out a giant white fedora and shades, because only Celine can pull off something that ridiculous.

RiRi is currently in New York City for Fashion Week, and it’s RiRi we’re talking about, so of course she’s been working that body-oddy-oddy this week. Except that she’s still sort of keeping things covered up, which is uncharacteristic for her, and I’m confused. Normally her outfits look like they were picked out at Sexy-R-Us, if that’s even a store. And if it’s not a store, it should be; the modesty-impaired should have a one-stop-shop for all their slutty clothing needs. I wonder if that’s ever been pitched on Shark Tank?

Regardless, I’m kind of shocked that Rihanna has been dressing so modestly. Not once have her outer space nipple pellets made an appearance! Although the week is still young; today we get refined menswear-inspired sophistication, but tomorrow she could just say “Fuck it” and hire some dude to walk behind her with his hands covering her Barbadian booby balls like Janet Jackson on that Rolling Stone cover.

Rihanna is seen at Versus Versace Fashion Show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2015 in NYC

She’s like “Hmmm, that’s not a bad idea. I was just going to go topless.” You’re welcome, RiRi!

Here’s more of Rihanna looking like a sexy sleepy pajama model while heading to a fashion event, and then later that night on her way to the Versus Ver-SAYCE show:

Pics: Splash

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