This Isn’t Random At All: Cameron Diaz And Benji Madden Are A Thing

May 18, 2014 / Posted by:

Cameron Diaz’s never-ending quest to fuck and dump every famous (and semi-sort-of famous) piece in Hollywood continues.

UsWeekly says that out and proud slut Cameron Diaz is currently licking on the douche peen that was once licked by Parasite Hilton, Holly Madison and Sophie Monk. Some source says that Nicole Richie, who was in that Basic Bitch Class of 2014 picture with Cameron, introduced the two, because she felt like he’s a slut, she’s a slut, so they’re perfect for each other. Nicole thought they would really click. Nicole telling Cameron that she’d be perfect for tattooed douche bottle Benji Madden is like Nicole telling Cameron, “I hate you.” ┬áSome source says that Benji has been chewing on Cameron’s twat fur for only a few weeks.

“It’s very new” and they’re “just hanging out,” a source tells Us of Diaz, 41, and Madden, 35. The pair have only been seeing each for the past several weeks.

I’m shocked and surprised it’s lasted more than a week. Usually Cameron Diaz’s coochie yawns at a dick that it’s seen more than four or five times, so this is one of her longterm relationships. Cameron better dump him and move on to another trick next week or she’ll no longer be my slut hero. But what I don’t understand is, Cameron once told all the ladies out there that they have to treat their vagina like a beautiful flower and give it love and nourishment. Practice what you preach, bitch! How can she says she’s giving her chocha some love and nourishment when she’s watering it with the same hose that once watered Parasite Hilton’s weeds repeatedly? Cameron’s flower will be pissed at her once a herp sore grows one of its petals.

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