Kris Jenner Celebrates Her Birthday With The Most Unappetizing Cake In The World

November 6, 2013 / Posted by:

This is easily the most terrifying Halloween cake I’ve ever done.” – the baker who made Kris Jenner’s birthday cake.

Since she hasn’t been getting enough attention since the recent drama school theatrics put on by Kanye West (aka “Goddamnit Kim, if you can’t hit your mark on the downbeat, I’ll replace you. Okay Ricardo, from the top…5-6-7-8“) Kris Jenner decided to remind everyone who the real star of the Kardashian Klan is at her birthday lunch yesterday by blowing out the candles on a giant cake with her face on it and singing “Every Kardashian starts with Kris“.

The Daily Mail reports that Kris celebrated her 58th birthday at a fancy Los Angeles restaurant surrounded by her family (E! Network’s 13-piece camera crew) and bags of money (her daughters). The Kardashian/Jenners surprised Kris with a birthday cake and cupcakes decorated with edible pictures of her face, much to Kris’s delight, who teared-up and joked “Now that’s a beautiful cake!”


HA! Who knew Kris was so funny? Somebody get this hilarious woman her own show! Oh, wait…

Her manufactured reaction is almost funnier than the cake. Kris was surprised to the point of tears? Bitch please. Nothing in that family happens without first getting Kris’s approval; they probably held business meetings back in September to determine which heavily-photoshopped picture of Kris they’d use for the cake (“Try to use one from 2011 or 2012 that says ‘Kim, I didn’t know you had a gorgeous short-haired sister!” – Kris)

Looking at Kris Jenner’s tightly-pulled viper-mask in person is one thing (I don’t know how the audience of Kris did it) but imagine having to look at that face while you’re eating pieces of food with the same grotesque face on it? I’d rather eat that gross cake Mr. Burns made for Homer on The Simpsons.

(Pics via Keek)

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