Sinead O’Connor Accuses Simon Cowell…OF MURDER!!!

Detective LaToya established an Irish branch of her crack PI agency, and hired Sinead O’Connor as her head detective. Sinead’s first case? Getting evidence on Simon Cowell for MURDERING ROCK N’ ROLL! (!!!) Sinead took her open letter show on the road, and her first stop was Ireland’s The Late Late Show. Detective Sinead accused The X Factor judge (and friendship role model) of ruining music forever with his soulless, corporate, popular music-killing tv shitshows. (She’s got a point…)

Look at this lady. She can go undercover like you wouldn’t believe. Her current hairstyle was DESIGNED for wig usage!

Sinead  comes off like she has some brains in her head. And those fucks you’ve heard so much about? She don’t have em’! (We know what happened the last time she tried to get a fuck into her difficult brown so she just eschewed them completely). But no one is going to take her ass seriously when she looks like she’s preaching on a bench at the bus station and there’s something moving in that old Filene’s bag she’s stowed under her bench.

The only things Simon has actually murdered is the concept of friendship and the middle-part I had freshman year in high school.  Oh, it’s great to be back here. Now let’s discuss whatever the fuck she had scrawled on her mug.