Remember two long months ago when we all questioned the existence of real love after that Big Bang Theory chick Kaley Cuoco and Superman broke up? We all figured that Kaley’s fragile heart was smashed into a million pieces and she’d never learn to love again, because how do you put yourself back together after breaking up with a dude whose publicist forced him to date you and who shared many memorable staged photo-op moments with you? How do you get back to happy after being at that place?! I wouldn’t have blamed Kaley if she became a love-hating spinster who spent her days slashing romantic greeting cards at Walgreens and punching at empty Starbucks cups. But Kaley pulled herself back up and found a way to love again. She is so strong!
UsWeekly says that Kaley and her tennis-playing boyfriend Ryan Sweeting are engaged after three months of dating. She’s been dating this Ryan dude for three months, yet she broke up with Superman in July? Well, I guess there’s no such thing as MATHS when true love is involved. A source tells UsWeekly that Kaley knows that Ryan is the one even though they’ve only been together for a second. And by “the one” I think she means “the one” who’s going to get her ass into UsWeekly again. UsWeekly says that Kaley got engaged yesterday and tweeted this afterward:
Flying high, I could literally touch the sky with you….
— Kaley Cuoco (@KaleyCuoco) September 25, 2013
Did she forget that she’s not fake dating Superman anymore?! That’s some crap you tweet if you’re fake engaged to Superman. Dumbass. She’s engaged to a tennis player, so she should’ve tweeted something like, “Soaring fast, we could literally beat Serena with our love...”
But bitterness aside, congratulations to Kaley’s publicist for another job well done! And if Kaley’s trying to look like she’s in love, she should probably stop making the “ugh, where do I spit this out?” face when she’s posing next to her piece.