True Love Really Doesn’t Exist: Superman And Kaley Cuoco Broke Up After Two Weeks

July 11, 2013 / Posted by:

The “Kaley Cuoco Starbucks For Two” Watch ended before it even began. Who’s Starbucks will she carry now?!!!!

E! News says that Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill’s totally natural and not-at-all staged hand-holding photo-ops are done. It’s always a sad day in Hollywood when two publicists can’t make the details of a contract work. Shit, they didn’t even have a short-term contract. Their relationship (or whatever you want to call it) was a test drive. The milk they bought during their staged grocery store photo-op lasted longer than their entire relationship did. E! says that even though you could count the dates they went on together on two fingers, they will stay friends (HA!) and Kaley is going to shellac the hand that touched Superman’s hand.

Oh well, I was kind of hoping that Kaley and Henry would go on a couple more staged dates, get engaged in front of the paps and marry in front of the paps so the heads of his fangirls would explode, but I guess that’s not going to happen. Kaley and Henry can learn something from this. What did all of our moms say? You can fuck right away, but you should wait until at least the third date before you call the paparazzi. At least Kaley got some Superman peen out of it. I think.



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