The Miley Cyrus “I Can’t With You” Roundup

Since Miley Cyrus can’t stop and won’t stop until she’s suffocated us all with her “flattened package of Honey Buns” ass, she’s releasing new “music.” While I think I’m the only bitch on Earth who actually loved every hilarious second of her desperate hillbilly lizard and plushie extravaganza, I can’t with any of this new music.

First up is a “leaked” demo that Miley apparently made with Justin Bieber and Lil’ Twist. It’s called “Twerk,” because of course it’s called “Twerk.” “Twerk” is the final nail twerk’s coffin. The dead horse has twerked for the last time and it can no longer twerk anymore. This is the #1 song on the hip hop station in HELL.

I’d rather let a naked and Crisco’d up Dr. Phil twerk on my face while an army of fire ants nest in my crotch bush than listen to that song again. I’ve heard Kidz Bop songs that weren’t as annoying as that wreck.

Miley also “raps” on Mike Will Made-It’s new song called “23.”

A rapping Miley Cyrus is the reason why the line to be shot into space is ten thousand miles long. When you get in line, save me a spot behind you.

And finally, in the worst Miley news of all Miley news, Page Six says that she teamed up with Kanye West for the remix of “Black Skinhead.” Kanye and Miley went into the studio together right after the VMAs.

That’s it for now, but I’m sure I’ll have to update this post in a few minutes when it’s announced that Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber have been cast in a remake of Poetic Justice.