Rosamund Pike Is Gone Girl

I usually only read a book if it was written by the Hemingway of our time, Katie Price’s ghost writer, (I’ve read all but 2 Katie Price books and even Harvey Price would be filled to the top with shame if he admitted that) but I read Gone Girl and I read it in two days. This is a shock considering that it took my ass at least three days to read Goodnight Moon. While reading Gone Girl, I pictured Goopy Paltrow as Amy (yes, my imagination hates me) and James McAvoy’s head on James Marsden’s body (if that makes sense, which it doesn’t) as Nick. So when it was announced that Ben Affleck would play Nick, my brain shat out a question mark. Ben Affleck is not Nick to me. If in the Gone Girl movie, we find out that Nick was an Easter Island statue brought to life by an evil fairy, then Ben as Nick would make sense, but other than that, noooope.

In the book, Nick’s ass is older than Amy, so I figured David Fincher, who’s directing that shit, would cast Judi Dench as Amy. That didn’t happen. The Hollywood Reporter says that former Bond Girl Rosamund Pike got the role of Amy. Apparently, Rosamund beat out Abbie Cornish, Olivia Wilde, Emily Blunt, Natalie Portman (????) and Charlize Theron. THR also says that Neil Patrick Harris and Tyler Perry are in talks for supporting roles.

At this point, the only casting that makes sense to me is Rosamund Pike. Ben Affleck, Neil Patrick Harris and Tyler Perry? The hell? I’m guessing that NPH is going to play the creepy rich man child and Tyler Perry is going to play a detective. I hope The Hollywood Reporter got it all wrong. I hope Rosamund Pike was offered a different role and Tyler Perry’s going to play Amy as Madea. Gone Madea is some shit I’d totally watch.