Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

July 19, 2012 / Posted by:

What former “Desperate Housewives” hunk gets his sexual kicks by working out and flexing his guns for the ladies AND the gentlemen at the Equinox gym in West Hollywood? The supposedly straight, 30-something actor likes the attention so much he usually brings different female crew members from his latest TV series to watch him strike poses. (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

Jesse Metcalfe or Josh Henderson or BOTH? But if it’s Jesse Metcalfe, then he’s performing the wrong show. Jesse needs to sell tickets and VIP packages to watch him pucker his lips as he carefully plucks out rogue brow hair after rogue brow hair on his exquisitely pruned hairy caterpillars he calls eyebrows. Or he needs to sell tickets to watch him gently slather anti-chaffing cream on his under titty area. Those are the real shows that will make hos salivate from every orifice.

We are pleased to announce another defection from this ridiculous group. She is not talking about it yet, but we can tell you that she is an actress, and that she was a member of the group for many years.

Her new full-time gig doesn’t require any press time this summer, so she is keeping a very low profile for the time being. She started getting paranoid that her phone conversations were being tapped and that her child/ren were being followed, so she quietly consulted with another former member of the group (who is also an entertainer and Mom concerned about the safety of her kid/s). After their talk, the actress got new phones and hired new bodyguards to protect herself and her child/ren.

We don’t know if she has talked to her best friend – who is still a member of the group – about her decision. (Blind Gossip)

There’s no way this is Kirstie Alley, because if she tried to break up with Xenu, Scientology would just trap her again by leaving a trail of glazed Krispy Kremes from her bedroom door to their lair. I’ll guess this:

Following Katie Holmes out the exit door: Catherine Bell?
Mom who helped her get out: Katie Holmes?
Friend: Jenna Elfman?

Which daughter of a late socialite used to lube herself from head to toe in an attempt to seduce a Siberian husky? (The maid would find the daughter all scratched up and the dog traumatized, with a distended penis. She’d start frantically crossing herself. (La Dolce Musto)

Let’s just ignore the “late” in “late socialite” and guess this is Wonky McValtrex? Because she’s an animal lover (UGH!!!!) and she’s dumb enough to use lube instead of peanut butter. And somebody, please call Annemarie Lucas.

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