The Trollsens Have Done It Again

June 27, 2012 / Posted by:

Last year, PETA figuratively threw a can of red paint at Mary-Kate and Ashley Trollsen after their fashion line The Row put out a $39,000 alligator backpack that looked like a giant pregnant roach. That ugly backpack made of Wally Gator’s mom sold out, because sometimes rich people get bored with burning their money in front of the poors and so they spend it on overpriced, ugly crap instead. Mixing their two favorite loves, making money and sucking the souls out of animals, worked so well the first time that those two Cruella de Trolls are doing it again.

The Zoe Report says that The Row is selling a “second generation” version of their alligator backpack, but this time they’ve covering it with patches of real fur instead of the carcass of a gator. Before I tell you how much this traveling animal cemetery costs, let me tell you all the things you could buy instead of buying this bundle of Muppet pubes:

– A Smart Car full of BUNNIES!!!!!
– A mountain of 30,000 KFC cheese top burgers that you can dive into and then eat yourself out of.
– 100 lap dances from OctoMom and 20 handjobs from Lindsay Lohan followed by 100 therapy sessions and 10 visits to the free clinic.
– 112 Olsen Barbies that you can skin and turn into a dozen Olsen doll backpacks.
– The handle of a Birkin bag.

You can buy any one of those things or you can make the Trollsen empire even richer by spending $16,900  on one of PETA’s worst nightmares. Yeah, that bag is almost $17,000. The alligator one is almost $40k, so this is A DEAL! Seriously, though, that’s a lot of money for a bag that is as tortured, busted and raggedy as the bags who designed it. Well, I guess it’s the perfect thing to carry out in public if your ass is out of flour and you need a bitch to throw some at you.

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