The Alaskan KFed Knocked Up Another Ho

TMZ says that Levi Johnston is one baby (that we know of) closer to beating KFed, because he has successfully (or unsuccessfully, depending on who you ask) dropped his potent Wasilla seed into a dumb ass girl who is now forever tied to the finest douche Alaska has to offer.

A source tells TMZ that Levi’s piece of a year, 20-year-old school teacher Sunny Ogelsby, is only in her first trimester and before this story broke, Bristol didn’t even know that her son Tripp is about to become a half-brother. Although, it might’ve been impossible for Levi to tell Bristol, because the source says that Sarah and Todd Palin are trying to keep him from having any kind of contact with Tripp. Levi recently called up Bristol and Sarah told a lie when she said her daughter was out of town with Tripp.

I have so many questions. How is Sunny Ogelsby a 20-year-old school teacher and not a Kimmy Gibbler-like neighbor on an ABC Family sitcom? With a name like Sunny Ogelsby, she should be a sitcom sidekick with a catchphrase. How is Sunny Ogelsby a teacher at 20 years old? Did bitch skip a few grades, thus missing that Alaskan sex education class where they teach you to line your sugar walls with spermicide-covered rubber before letting that bareback slut Levi Johnston run up in you?

If this wasn’t planned, both of these bitches are stupid and would lose every round in Are You Smarter Than A Palin? If this was planned, then both of these bitches are still stupid, but Sunny is especially stupid, because you don’t make a baby with Levi Johnston. You just don’t. You put a rubber plug in his peen hole, stick the tip in a few times and quit it. What kind of school teacher doesn’t know that?!

The only good that can come from this is a truly messed up baby name. These two suck at making life choices, so I’m guessing they’ll suck at naming their baby too. I’m thinking they’ll go with Wrangler Cloudy Johnston.