Olivia Munn wrote a book once called Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures Of A Hollywood Geek and in it she confessed that when she first came to Hollywood she bumped wet parts with a major movie director who’s as hung as a baby flamingo flower and who regularly jacked his mouse dick while eating shrimp. (Mental note: shrimp oil is now a lube substitute). Cut to last night’s episode of Attack of Show, which Olivia used to be on. Brett Ratner, director of such cinematic masterpieces as Rush Hour 3 and The Family Man, was on and the show’s host Kevin Pereira brought up the rumor that Brett is the director Olivia threw shade, cocktail sauce and a penis pump at in her book. Brett admitted that it is him, but he wanted to make it clear that the only shrimp around when he’s fapping is his dick. Brett then blasted at Olivia by saying she’s only Asian when the role calls for it.
“I used to date Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here. But when she was ‘Lisa.’ She wasn’t Asian back then. She was hanging out on my set of After the Sunset, I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn’t know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.”
Note that he’s not even trying to defend that “shortcomings” shit.
Brett Ratner is a grade A piece of soiled clit lint who probably considers his vast Adidas flip-flops collection as his greatest achievement and who shouts shit like “Take all of daddy’s big dick, bitch!” at his piece when she puts all of it in her mouth while clenching her teeth out of shame at the same time. I fully believe that Brett has a dick that doesn’t even clear the gums and I also believe that his nasty bloated ass likes his masturbation sessions surf and turf-style. If you’re going to squeeze your dick while eating seafood, at least be classy about it and go with lobster instead of shrimp. I bet his trailer smells like a Sizzler kitchen sink at the end of dinner service.
On the other hand, I have more of an opinion on this sludge at the bottom of my coffee cup than I do of Olivia Munn. But from what I’ve read, she’s the eve that belongs to Summer. So hopefully these two end up together in the end, because they sound like a match made in cunt cleaner heaven.