It’s Me Or Twitter

March 24, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

Star Magazine (via SS) thinks they know the real reason why the fartytale romance of this generation was flushed down the toilet. The reason is TWITTER! Jennifer Aniston was apparently completely over John Mayer choosing his Twitter over her twatter.

Jen apparently would flip out and punch her bagina bone with her Blackberry whenever John updated his Twitter without calling or texting her ass. John would take hours upon hours to return her calls and when he did, he would tell her he was too busy. But he obviously wasn’t too busy to spread the gospel according to douchebags on Twitter.

A source said, “Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he’d update with some stupid line. And in her mind, she was like ‘He has time for all this Twittering, but he can’t send me a text, an email, make a call?’ He didn’t even deny it. He knew he was avoiding her. So when she called him on it and ended things, he just said OK, and that he was sorry it didn’t work out. He took the break-up like a man.”

Basically, he wasn’t into her ass anymore and would rather rub his limp dick all over his Twitter page (you know he does that) than call her. But bitch should really count herself lucky that John dropped his douche nuggets on Twitter rather than drop them on her.

Now whenever Jenny sees a blue ass bird flying by, she’s going to throw a rock or shoe at it. A damn bird stole her man!

Tags: Dumbasses, Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, Uncomfortable

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