Down With CROCS!

Rosie O’Donnell looks so cushy stuffed into her plastic vagina mitts from Hell. Hopefully, that pair she’s wearing isn’t covered into much toe jelly, because that shit might have to last her a while. You see, the heavens opened up and the angels have sung. The destructive eyeball killers who have brought so much fugness to this planet might be sent back to the fiery depths of Hell where they were born. Women’s Wear Daily says the company is in trouble.

CROCS released a report by the accounting firm Deloitte & Touche LLP that states they’re in danger, girl. Their stock is down 19 percent and last February, they reported a loss of $183.6 million. The year before, they posted a profit of $168.2, so the company isn’t doing well. They replaced their CEO and cut costs in hopes that they are able to swim out of the red this year.

Run to the mirror, smile wide and then cackle like CHERYL BURKE about to cast a black magic spell on of her contestants. That is my face right now.

But seriously, I don’t want a shit load of whores to lose their jobs, so I have an idea. Obviously, the people of the world have stepped out of the fug cloud and decided they no longer want to degrade their feet with that trash, so CROCS has to change things up. They already have all that plastic, so the obvious move is to get into the DILDO business! All they have to do is drop the R and there’s their new company name!

IN THIS ECONOMY, almost everyone is getting fucked, so we might as well get fucked with a bright, shiny rod of plastic.

Here’s CROCS (not cocs) lover Rosie with Kathy Griffin and Gloria Estefan in Miami yesterday.