This Is Worse Than I Thought

Kristen Johnston gave EW a little more information on what’s going on with the new American butchery of the beloved Absolutely Fabulous. Kristen corrected the previous rumors that she’s in talks to play Edie. Bitch is in the running for Patsy. Some bitch named Kathryn Hahn is in talks to play Edie. Okay, Kristen is more of a Patsy, but that still doesn’t make it right.

I wish Kristen would have stopped right there when talking about this mess. Instead, she had to go further which drove the knife deeper into my back. The tip is practically sticking out of my chest. Kristen confirmed my deepest darkest fears about the show. They are basically taking away all the dirty shit and turning it into a big bowl of lukewarm Cream of Wheat made with tap water instead of milk.

Feel the pain when reading Kristen describe this future caca show, “I think they captured the exact amount of sweetie-darling. I mean, it’s a totally different element, it’s a totally different show. We don’t smoke, we are hungover all the time, we chew Nicorette, we’re trying to be more PC, but I think it really works. It’s one of those scripts that’s like my favorite kind because on paper you’re like, Oh, this is funny, but when you read it out loud with two actresses, it’s, like, the funniest shit ever.”

Basically, this sounds more like a remake of that disaster High Society. This doesn’t sound like
AbFab at fucking all. Why don’t they just rename the characters and change the damn title to something like, Boiled Broccoli with No Velveeta On Top. Why drag the beautiful AbFab name down with them?

And on another note, when did Kristen Johnston become a garden lizard? Throw some dead flies at her mouth. That will keep her busy so she won’t partake in effing up a TV classic.