Chicken Plucker!

If you are a chicken or a chicken lover (but not in that way), you better skip this shit. That means you Chicken Cutlets! Shut your eyes.

At first glance I thought this was a picture of Ian McKellen with his new chicken twink. It’s not. It’s the 71-year-old star of the fourth season of Germany’s Farmer Wants a Wife. On the season finale, pepaw farmer Hansi chose 66-year-old Marianne as his final chick. Usually when two people decide they want to be together, they celebrate it with a little sexy times. That’s what Hansi did, but instead of getting nasty with Marianne, he tried to pleasure a chicken! 8 million viewers watched as Hansi finger plucked a chicken while telling Marianne, “This is how they get an orgasm.”

That nasty ass chicken plucker! CLUCK NO.

Marianne did not appreciate the chicken getting more action than her, so she packed up her shit and quit that bitch. Before she left, she told the cameras, “You always hear jokes about what lonely farmers do to their animals… I am disgusted. This is not my world.”

Hansi, a nudist who walks around his farm naked, doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it. He said, “Hansi is always happy when the chickens are happy.”

Peta already sent off their complaint about Hansi’s sexual abuse of chickens.

I’ve heard of q-tipping a cat in heat, but chicken orgasms?! Is that where McDonald’s Sweet & Sour sauce comes from?

Hansi has been around chickens for way too long. When you are start to get impure thoughts while watching chickens peck at their food and wiggle their feathers, it’s time to check into the nearest loony bin before shit like this happens. Just cockadoodledon’t!

Visit Bild to see pictures of the grossness.