Silicon Valley star and anthropologist specializing in gaping assholes (Exhibit A and Exhibit B) Kumail Nanjiani is in talks to join the cast of Marvel Studios’ The Eternals, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The Eternals are kind of lower-tier Marvel Comics characters but every one of their properties is probably going to get a flick eventually, right? Before you know it, the Fantastic Four’s mailman will have a film trilogy and the shit will still make bank. (Personally, I’m hoping for an eventual Iceman/Northstar team-up with plenty of sex scenes now that Disney owns The X-Men. Make that happen, Marvel. Representation – with plenty of sex scenes – is important.)
The Eternals are a hidden race of super-powered immortals who have been around forever since ancient times and the basis for various civilization’s god and goddess myths. Angelina Jolie will supposedly play Sersi, who is a seductress-type and we’ll leave that right there.
There’s no word on which Eternal Kumail might play. There’s a main guy who’s a white guy (Ikaris), a childlike imp who’s white (Sprite), a fast guy who’s white (Makkari), a nerd guy who’s white (Domo), and so on. Or there’s the villain – Druig of Nightmares. But casting a person of color as the villain against a bunch of white people might be a little problematic for the Marvel brand.
Could it be “Karen” aka Marvel’s Hercules that Kumail’s playing? Hercules isn’t canonically an Eternal and presents as a slab of Caucasian beefcake but who cares – Aquaman was a privileged white man with blonde hair in the beginning.
Oh, and back to Angie. Kumail is married to Emily Gordon, who was also his co-writer on the Oscar-nominated film The Big Sick. And he might be starring opposite Jolie. Shades of Mr. and Mrs. Smith! Emily, put a chastity lock on your man before you send him to the set! Ask Aniston. Just sayin’.