Jennifer Lopez is the under-the-radar Madge, sucking the life out of the musical youth to preserve her taut skin and perky chi-chis. She had a go at the Booty single with Iggy Azalea and then had Dinero with Cardi B. I guess that wasn’t enough because now JLo is starring in Hustlers, a movie about strippers who get revenge on their Wall Street clients. Cardi B has also signed on. Honestly, I rolled my eyes at this, but Ocean’s 8 with more thong and less Cate Blanchett mop wig sounds perfect.
JLo and Constance Wu had already signed on, and today Deadline says that they will be joined by Cardi, Lili Reinhart, face on the milk carton Julia Stiles (uhhhh?), Keke Palmer, Mercedes Ruehl, Mette Towley, and Trace Lysette. The movie was inspired by a 2016 article in New York magazine, and it shows former strip club workers who gang up to do something that sounds a lot like revenge on the dicks that used to fire singles at them in those annoying cash guns (yes, the guy who cuts my hair says he has several). It’ll be Cardi’s first movie, but she’s been more than vocal about how she was once a stripper, so perhaps she can also pocket some extra coin as a pole coach to the rest of the cast!
Filming is expected to start later this month. Now, the biggest question is if Jenny from the Block is going to be a pro and film at an actual strip club, as I’m sure Cardi can get a great discount on studio fees! Yeah, you’re right. If that Fiat commercial taught us anything, it’s that the only red light district JLo goes near is if Saks Fifth Avenue is flashing a red light in a Christmas window display.